A involved father reached out to Reddit’s parenting subreddit searching for recommendation on whether or not to permit his 16-year-old daughter to fulfill in particular person a 17-year-old boy she “met” on Instagram.
“Is that this trigger for concern? Daughter asking to hang around with particular person she met on-line,” wrote Reddit consumer “meaty_maker” in a March 31 put up.Â
Within the put up, “meaty_maker” defined that’s 16-year-old daughter is “what I’d think about a standard teen” and has social media accounts.
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“Not too long ago she was chatting on the cellphone (precise voice dialog) with a younger man (17) and so they’d like to hang around collectively and my daughter, figuring out my expectations, requested if he might hang around right here,” he wrote.
The daddy wrote that he “wished to say no, however do not have something strong to recommend it is an issue.”
Moreover, “her mother would not see the issue and would like they be right here fairly than elsewhere.”
“This is a part of what’s making me uncomfortable,” wrote the dad. “
She goes to a large highschool and has had boyfriends from her faculty beforehand. Now some younger man reaches out to her through Instagram and so they begin to chat.”
The dad stated the 17-year-old has “mutual acquaintances together with her, however not all these ‘mutuals’ she is aware of in particular person.”Â
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“The younger man is homeschooled and lives about half-hour from us, so I am unable to attempt to join him with another children or households my household could also be acquainted with,” he wrote.Â
The daddy puzzled if he was “being an over-reactive dad” — or if he is proper to be cautious.Â
It “appears odd {that a} child with out affiliation to any faculty and who lives half-hour away rapidly has an curiosity in my child,” he wrote.
He added that “I really feel like I do not need this child to know the place we dwell.”Â
He requested others, “Am I being overprotective or over-cautious?”
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Fox Information Digital reached out to the daddy for any extra feedback or updates.Â
As well as, Fox Information Digital reached out to a New York Metropolis-based psychologist for knowledgeable perception.
Mentioned Dr. Jayme Albin, PhD, a scientific psychologist, “Relating to pink flags and instincts, it’s all the time safer to go together with your intestine.”
She additionally advised Fox Information Digital, “The very best technique is to determine what you’re involved about — and devise a plan that addresses these issues and has flexibility to develop and alter as a relationship of belief develops.”Â
The consensus among the many practically 200 replies to the put up to date agreed that the daddy was not being over-protective — however that he ought to comply with let his daughter meet the boy in a public place first.
On Reddit, customers can “upvote” feedback they discover useful and “downvote” these they don’t.
“I’d meet in a public house first with you close by, earlier than having him come to your house. You don’t know if this particular person is really who they are saying they’re,” wrote Reddit consumer “FastCar2467” within the top-upvoted reply to the dad’s authentic put up.
One other prime remark shared a scary scenario from the particular person’s previous.Â
“I did this as a teen (15 on the time, MySpace period),” wrote Immediate_Guess_9853.Â
“My mother and father allowed the man over, and it changed into my worst nightmare,” she wrote. “He turned out to be a stalker and I regretted him figuring out the place I lived.”Â
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Immediate_Guess_9853 stated that if she might do every little thing once more, she would have requested to “meet in a public house like a Starbucks with my dad or mum current or close by.” She would have solely shared her handle if issues went effectively.Â
Others, notably Reddit customers who stated they have been homeschooled, shared extra constructive tales concerning on-line encounters with strangers.
She would have shared her handle provided that issues went effectively, one consumer famous.
“Addressing your final paragraph, that is how a homeschooled 17-year-old goes to fulfill individuals his age,” stated consumer TylerSB1.Â
“He would not have a faculty the place he’s naturally going to achieve a community of folks that he has bodily met.”
Person “thebuffaloqueen” concurred.Â
“One in all my homeschooled church associates met his future (like 7-8ish years sooner or later) spouse through MySpace in like 2008-ish as a result of she was in my prime 8, and I had advised him that she was a detailed pal of mine,” she wrote.Â
“He simply merely did not have a lot entry to different children and I used to be the one different child in our church’s youth group who was allowed on MySpace.”
“Train a ton of warning however enable it,” wrote one particular person.Â
Thebuffaloqueen did “firmly agree” that the primary assembly ought to be in a public house, not of their dwelling — and warned him that stopping their assembly might finish poorly.Â
“Talking as a former 16-year-old, in the event you do not enable them to fulfill in particular person in your phrases, there’s a nice likelihood that she’ll simply meet him in secret with out informing you, which might be tremendous dangerous to her if he is mendacity about who he really is,” she stated.Â
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A number of Redditors praised the dad for his parenting, on condition that his daughter trusted him sufficient to ask him about this.Â
“In as we speak’s world that is regular. Train a ton of warning however enable it,” stated Reddit consumer “ahawk90347.”
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“And be proud she requested you rather than going behind your again. It’s an indication of an excellent dad or mum!”