

(CNN) — Rachel Décoste landed in West Africa’s Republic of Benin in August 2018, anticipating an essential journey of self-discovery, however not predicting the extent to which the journey would change her life.
On her first day exploring Benin, Rachel requested a passerby for instructions. Two weeks later, Rachel and the stranger have been engaged. Inside six months, they have been married.
Rachel grew up in Ottawa, Canada, the daughter of Haitian dad and mom who’d immigrated to Canada within the late Sixties. As an grownup, Rachel relocated to Washington DC for faculty, later working for a bipartisan tech program related to the USA congress.
Rachel liked this job, she liked the range of Washington and liked working in public service. When her US visa was up for renewal, Rachel, then in her early 40s, figured she’d work remotely for a number of months earlier than returning to DC.
However somewhat than working from Canada, she hatched a plan to arrange her desk additional afield.
Earlier that 12 months, Rachel had submitted her DNA to an internet ancestry website. Rachel had lengthy identified she was the descendent of enslaved Africans, however till she bought the outcomes, she hadn’t identified the place her forebears had lived. Now, she had a listing of nations the place she had roots: Senegal, Ivory Coast, Togo, Ghana and Benin.
Rachel arrived in Benin in the direction of the top of her 5 month distant working journey. She’d already visited the opposite international locations on her listing, and her African journey was shaping as much as be a rare journey of self-discovery. However, Rachel did not know what to anticipate from Benin.
“Actually, I do not know if I might discover Benin Republic on a map earlier than this,” she says.
She booked a room in a mattress and breakfast within the port metropolis of Cotonou, planning to remain there for 2 weeks — working from the B&B and exploring the nation in her spare time.
Following a few days settling in, Rachel ventured out for the primary time. She deliberate to go to Ouidah, as soon as one of the vital lively slave buying and selling ports in Africa. She anticipated this is able to be a shifting and thought-provoking expertise.
“I am positive that considered one of my ancestors handed by there, simply due to my DNA take a look at,” says Rachel.
Exiting her room, Rachel searched round for the supervisor of her mattress and breakfast — she was in search of steerage on how finest to journey to Ouidah.
“She’s nowhere to be discovered. After which I search for the safety guard, and the safety guard is on break.”
Rachel figured her subsequent finest guess was asking a passerby exterior, so she opened the gates and glanced round.
The primary individual she noticed was a person about to get on a motorbike, parked simply exterior.
Rachel greeted the stranger in French — as a French Canadian, French is her first language and it is also the official language of Benin — and politely requested him the best way to get to Ouidah.
“You must go to a sure intersection downtown, the place all of the bush taxis are,” defined the stranger. “You discover the taxi going to your vacation spot, you pay in your seat, and you then’ll get there.”
He began passing on instructions to the intersection, however then, realizing they have been a bit sophisticated, modified his tune.
“In order for you. I can deliver you there, it is about 10 minutes away,” he instructed, gesturing to his bike.
It was about 9 a.m. Rachel was cautious of trusting somebody she did not know, however she determined she was unlikely to come back to hurt in broad daylight. She agreed.
“I take an opportunity, hop on the again of his motorbike, no helmet,” she recollects.
Touring collectively

Honoré and Rachel explored Benin collectively.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
The motorbike-riding stranger was Honoré Orogbo, a single father and enterprise proprietor in his thirties who’d lived in Cotonou all his life and simply occurred to be passing by that morning.
When Rachel opened the mattress and breakfast door, Honoré had simply completed consuming some breakfast he’d grabbed from a close-by avenue kiosk.
From the skin, Rachel’s lodging wasn’t clearly a B&B. Honoré says he assumed she was the proprietor of the home. It was solely when she requested for instructions that Honoré realized Rachel was a customer.
When Rachel and Honoré arrived on the taxi rank in Cotonou metropolis heart, they realized the one heading to Ouidah was fairly empty. Honoré defined it could be a while earlier than it departed — the motive force would not depart till the taxi was full.
Rachel was disheartened. She did not have time to attend round — she needed to spend the entire day in Ouidah with out feeling rushed, and to securely return to Cotonou earlier than sunset.
Sensing her disappointment, Honoré got here up with a suggestion. He had a good friend in Ouidah he’d been hoping to go to — whereas he hadn’t been planning to go that day, he might, he had a day without work.
“I am like ‘Cool. I will pay for gasoline. Let’s go,'” recollects Rachel.
Simply over an hour later, they arrived in Ouidah.
“He exhibits me the best way to get again — the place the bush taxes are that I can get again that afternoon — and he exhibits me the place the Slave Museum is. And I am like, ‘Okay, good to go. Thanks, sir,'” recollects Rachel.
However earlier than they have been as a result of go their separate methods, Rachel requested Honoré if he needed to get brunch. She needed a chunk to eat earlier than she began her tour — and increasing the invite to Honoré felt just like the well mannered alternative, he’d gone out of his approach to assist her, in any case.
Honoré agreed, touched by the gesture. The 2 sat all the way down to eat.
Rachel was conscious that she was a lady touring alone, and whereas Honoré had been nothing however well mannered and respectful, he was nonetheless a stranger, so she advised him she was married.
She additionally did not share particulars of her job, or her life within the US. However she did clarify how she hoped to journey round Benin over the approaching days. She requested Honoré if he had any associates or contacts who labored as chauffeurs or tour guides, and who may be all for escorting her round over the following couple of days. She figured that may be simpler than counting on taxis.
Honoré contacted a tour information good friend, however he was absolutely booked
“So I mentioned, ‘Effectively, how about you? Are you able to be my escort? You helped me out this morning, can I simply pay you to try this for 3 days?'” recollects Rachel.
“No, I am not a I am not a tour information,” mentioned Honoré. “I do not know my nation’s historical past by coronary heart, and that is not what I do.”
Rachel backtracked. She did not really want a tour information — there can be consultants in any respect the historic websites she deliberate to go to — she simply wanted a journey.
After a little bit of forwards and backwards, Honoré agreed to drive Rachel.
“When she insisted, I mentioned ‘Why not?'” Honoré recollects right now.
He needed to assist Rachel, Honoré says. She appeared like a “good individual,” primarily based on the best way she’d approached him, the best way she’d requested him questions and the best way she’d invited him to brunch.
The 2 agreed Honoré would drive Rachel round for the following few days, beginning that day in Ouidah, and Rachel would pay him for his companies.
Rising nearer

This is Rachel at Ganvie Lake Village in Cotonou, Benin.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
For the remainder of the week, Honoré took Rachel to Benin’s most essential websites.
Touring Benin was a robust expertise for Rachel. She says visiting the slave fort, inside Ouidah’s Museum of Historical past, “is a pilgrimage that each afro-descendant ought to go to to remind us of the cruelty that our ancestors survived.”
“I did not know this earlier than going there in individual, but when Las Vegas was taking bets on the survival of enslaved Africans, the percentages of my being alive right now would have been slim to none,” says Rachel. “I’m a strolling, speaking miracle. I’m the ‘one %.’ I owe it to those that did not make it to stay my finest life.”
Whereas touring round Benin, Rachel and Honoré talked. Whereas Rachel nonetheless did not disclose many particulars about her private circumstances, however she discovered herself opening as much as Honoré about her ideas and emotions. Honoré opened up in flip.
“First conversations have been about studying about myself, my household, my scenario, who I’m, who I actually am,” he says.
“We have been very open and really candid, as a result of we have been strangers and we’ll by no means see one another once more,” recollects Rachel.
She remembers being touched when Honoré defined that he did not have a brand new mannequin of motorbike as a result of he put all his cash in the direction of his son’s training.
“He says ‘I might somewhat have my child have these alternatives than drive a elaborate motorbike.’ And I assumed, ‘Wow, these are the values of my dad and mom.’ I noticed myself in these values,” says Rachel.
In considered one of their many conversations, Honoré talked about his brother was a tailor. On their fourth day collectively, Honoré took Rachel to a market to assist her purchase cloth that his brother might make right into a costume.
Rachel was overwhelmed by the selection — a lot in order that she requested Honoré to choose his favorites. He opted for 2 items of colourful, vivid Ankara cloth. The third possibility was a white, grey, lace type, referred to as lessi. Rachel liked it, and figured the ensuing costume might be “acceptable for a baptism or some type of big day.”

Honoré’s brother made clothes for Rachel and Honoré out of the material he picked for her on the market.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
In considered one of their many conversations driving to Benin landmarks, Honoré talked about to Rachel that he would normally journey to Lomé, the capital of the neighboring nation of Togo, when he and his associates needed an evening out.
Rachel was intrigued.
“I am unable to assure that I will ever come again right here. It is a as soon as in a lifetime journey the place I am getting paid whereas I am working out of the country. I wish to make the most of each alternative,” she remembers considering.
“So I mentioned, ‘Effectively, I’ve to return to work this week. However subsequent weekend, when you’re keen, I might get two lodge rooms and we might go to Togo collectively.”
The next weekend, Honoré took Rachel to a poetry slam evening in Lomé, adopted by a bar with stay music. They stayed out all evening.
“We’re dancing. It is simply pure pleasure,” says Rachel.
It was round this time that Rachel began to really feel issues shift. She felt comfy round Honoré in a approach she’d by no means felt earlier than.
“We get alongside nice. He laughs at my jokes,” she recollects considering. “I had a little bit of a meltdown a pair occasions — which I am not pleased with — the place he did not freak out, as a result of normally offended Black girls scare individuals. However he took all of it in his stride.”
Rachel even briefly met Honoré’s son.

Rachel and Honoré, pictured right here on a seaside in Cotonou, grew nearer and so they quickly realized they’d emotions for one another.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
She described the scenario in an electronic mail to considered one of her shut associates again in Ottawa.
“I believe I believe this individual must be my husband. However am I loopy? I’ve identified this man for every week. Is that silly? Inform me if I am loopy,” she wrote.
Her good friend wrote again: “Rachel, you aren’t a silly individual. You may have logic. You’re a good decide of character. If he is the one, seize him.”
For Honoré, the journey to Togo was a turning level too.
“I believe it is that evening that the lightning struck,” he says. “It was not lightning however it was a sense of affection. I believe that is the place the sensation of affection began.”
Rachel solely had yet another week in Benin earlier than she was set to return to North America. She determined she had no time to waste.
“I advised him that I actually wasn’t married. And he was very completely happy to listen to that. And we bought collectively,” she says.
“I used to be type of stunned,” says Honoré now. “I assumed a lady like that may in all probability have a husband.”
“Subsequent day I noticed her in a different way,” he provides. “Not like a vacationer however my soulmate. That is how the connection began. Step-by-step.”
For the rest of Rachel’s time in Benin, Rachel and Honoré spent as a lot time collectively as they may.
Lengthy distance engagement

Honoré and Rachel typically put on clothes made out of matching cloth, a Benin custom.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
On the night of Rachel’s departure, Honoré recollects sitting along with her on a seaside. He was having fun with the second, but in addition contemplating Rachel’s impending return to Canada, and what it meant for his or her burgeoning romance.
“We have been going through the ocean. In my head, I used to be considering ‘the previous two weeks that I’ve spent with you, I’ve no regrets. We had a good time collectively. I used to be actually completely happy to fulfill you.'”
The 2 talked in regards to the future, and if and the way they may make a protracted distance relationship work. They realized they have been each equally dedicated, and they also determined to get engaged, and that Honoré would relocate to North America.
It was a giant determination. They’d solely identified each other for a few weeks. And for Honoré, emigrating had by no means been a aim. It might be a giant change for his son. However Honoré says he determined to “comply with my instincts, to comply with my coronary heart.”
In the meantime, Rachel stop her life in DC, and went again to Canada. Rachel says her associates have been shocked, however supportive and completely happy when she advised them in regards to the whirlwind romance. Her dad and mom have been extra skeptical, she says. However they got here spherical after they met Honoré, and noticed how in love he was with their daughter.
Rachel returned to Benin six months later, in January 2019, for her marriage ceremony to Honoré. She wore the costume made out of the white lace cloth Honoré had picked for her available in the market the summer time earlier than. It felt like destiny.

This is the couple at Canadian marriage ceremony celebrations.
Two Timber Images by Timothy J Baklinski
In the meantime, the couple deliberate a Canadian marriage ceremony celebration for the next 12 months, navigating Honoré and his son’s immigration journey within the meantime.
“I took the time throughout the separation to begin making ready myself mentally and psychologically for a giant transfer,” recollects Honoré. “I had to consider the massive life change that was going to be forward of me, the cultural variations. I do know individuals who went to the Americas and it wasn’t essentially straightforward.”
Honoré additionally ready his baby for the transfer.
“I defined to him that, ‘My son, we’ll go to a unique nation and we’ll begin over collectively. With time, you’ll have new associates, you’ll have new cousins. You’ll have all the pieces you want for. all the pieces that you’ve got right here you’ll have over there, in time.”
Canadian reunion

At present, Honoré and Rachel stay in Canada collectively. Right here they’re pictured at Niagara Falls.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
Honoré and his son arrived in Canada in the course of winter.
“It was actually actually actually chilly,” he recollects. “I simply did not perceive how chilly it might be exterior. As a result of the chilly of Africa is a complete completely different kettle of fish, than the chilly in Canada.”
Nonetheless, as soon as Honoré was kitted out with Canada-appropriate boots, coat and mittens, he began adapting to life in a brand new nation.
Rachel and Honoré say they have been over the moon to be collectively. The months aside ready for Honoré’s visa approval had been lengthy.
Honoré’s son settled in in a short time, and Rachel tailored to turning into his stepmother, a task she says she loves.
“I am embracing the problem and the thrill of motherhood,” she says now.
“It is not straightforward whenever you’ve been single since eternally to regulate to having to share your life. However he is a very good child.”
At present, Honoré and Rachel stay in Ottawa. Rachel works as a range and inclusion professional, whereas Honoré is learning.

Listed here are Honoré, Rachel and their son in Ottawa collectively.
Woke Enterprises, Inc. Canada
The pandemic put a cease to their massive Canadian marriage ceremony celebration plans, however they loved a small ceremony in summer time 2020.
Reflecting on their journey collectively, Honoré says their story makes him take into account that “generally you should not drive destiny.”
He sees assembly Rachel as “future” however considers shifting the world over to be along with her as proof of the significance of trusting your intestine.
“Simply comply with your coronary heart,” he says. “Comply with your coronary heart with reckless abandon.”
As for Rachel, she says their love story is a reminder to her that “it is by no means too late.”
“You are not too outdated to simply journey alone by your self, in a rustic that you do not know, the place you do not know anyone. You are by no means too outdated to seek out love. You are by no means too outdated to turn into a mom.
There isn’t a expiration date on alternative. And seize life by each palms. If I can do it. You may.”